The Laws of The 3 Weeks of Mourning
The 3 weeks of mourning (a period known as “Bein ha-Metzarim,” - “between the straits”) begin with a fast day on the 17th of Tammuz, and end with a fast day on the 9th of Av. It was established by the Rabbis as a period of mourning over the destruction of the two
The 17th of Tammuz / Shivah Assar b'Tamuz
1. The fast begins 72 minutes before sunrise and ends 50 minutes after sunset (some cities have different customs)
2. Food and drink may be had at any time during the night of the 17th - but only if one remains awake all night.
3. If one goes to sleep, they should have in mind (preferably made verbal) to wake up early to eat before the fast begins. (One who normally drinks coffee, juice, etc., in the morning does not need to stipulate that he will drink this morning as well. One who normally does not drink anything in the morning should stipulate before retiring that he is planning to get up in the morning to drink. If he failed to do so, he may drink nevertheless. "Going to sleep" means deep sleep.
4. If one starts eating within a half hour before the fast (due to another law prohibiting food before praying), one must limit their food by eating fruits/vegetables (of any amount), “shehakol” type of food (but not enough for a meal), or less than 2.2 fl. oz. of bread, cake, cereal, etc. All (non-alcoholic) drinks are permitted in any amount. OR - Eat any kind and amount of food, but appoint someone to remind him to recite Shema and Shemoneh Esrei.
5. Once the fast starts, it is questionable if it is permitted to go back to sleep before davening. If he does go back to sleep, he should appoint another person to wake him up for prayers. (an alarm clock is not sufficient for this purpose)
6. Although it is permitted to bathe on a fast day, it has become customary not to take a hot shower or bath. It is also proper for adults to refrain from swimming, unless it is needed for a medical condition or to cool off on a hot day.
7. Some permit rinsing the front part of the mouth, taking care that no water enters the throat area.
8. One who has difficulty swallowing pills (prescribed by a doctor) may drink the amount of water required to swallow them. (One who is feeling sick is not obligated to fast, and may not act strictly in this regard)
9. During the reading of the Torah on a fast day, the custom is that certain verses are read aloud by the congregation. The individual who is called up for that aliyah should not read the verses aloud with the congregation. Instead, he should wait until the reader says them aloud and read along with him.
10. One who mistakenly ate on a fast day must resume and complete the fast, and he may recite ‘aneinu’ at Minchah. One who is not fasting altogether should not say aneinu. A minor who is not fasting need not say aneinu. (One who is praying together with the leader should not say aneinu as a separate blessing like the leader does; he should say it as it is said in private recitation, in Shema koleinu) At Minchah, ‘Avinu Malkeinu’ is recited, even without a minyan.
The Three Weeks
Taking a haircut or a shave:
1. It is permitted to trim a mustache that interferes with eating (some have the custom to shave on erev Shabbos)
2. It is permitted to pluck one's eyebrows or eyelashes.
3. Married women may cut hair that is protruding from their head covering or facial/body hair that may be unattractive to their husband (women of marriageable age may also take haircuts when necessary)
4. It is permitted to comb one's hair even though some hair will get torn out while combing.
5. Nail cutting is permitted (however, during the 9 days, most have the custom to cut their nails only on Friday)
6. It is permitted to shave if one's employer insists upon it, though not to prevent ridicule.
7. A mourner who completed his mourning period during the Three Weeks, may take a haircut and a shave(9).
8. The prohibition of hair-cutting applies even to small children under the age of chinuch.
9. On the day of a baby's bris, the father, the sandek and the mohel may take a haircut.
10. In a time of need, some poskim permit taking a haircut or a shave on the evening and night of the 17th of Tammuz.
Getting married or participating in a wedding:
1. A wedding may be held on the evening before the 17th of Tammuz if no other date is feasible.
2. Engagements are permitted and may even be celebrated with a party or a meal.
Listening to music and dancing:
1. Listening to music is prohibited, whether it is live, broadcast on the radio, or tapd.
2. A professional musician, or one who is learning to play professionally, may play music during the Three Weeks.
3. When the musical accompaniment is incidental to the main event may be attended or viewed.
4. Children who are old enough to understand about the destruction of the Beis ha-Mikdash may not listen to music. (Several poskim, however, permit a child to practice his musical instrument)
5. Singing in praise of Hashem at a seudas mitzvah, without musical accompaniment, is permitted.
Reciting shehecheyanu:
1. On Shabbos, it is permitted to recite shehecheyanu.
2. On Rosh Chodesh Av, it is permitted to recite shehecheyanu over new fruit. (a new fruit that will not be available after the Three Weeks may be eaten and a shehecheyanu recited.
3. A shehecheyanu is recited at a pidyon ha-ben and upon seeing one's newborn daughter.
4. A shehecheyanu may be recited if by mistake the Borei pri ha-eitz was already said over a new fruit.
5. The blessing of ha-Tov v'ha-Meitiv may be said during the Three Weeks.
6. Since it is prohibited to recite shehecheyanu, it is also prohibited to buy any item that normally requires shehecheyanu to be recited. (ie. one may not buy a new car for personal use; it is permitted, however, to buy a car for business use [and recite the shehecheyanu after the Three Weeks] or for the benefit of the family [since in that case ha-Tov v'ha-Meitiv is recited instead of shehecheyanu]).
7. It is forbidden to buy or wear clothing which normally would require a shehecheyanu to be recited. Clothes that require alteration may be bought during the Three Weeks and altered after the Three Weeks are over.
8. New garments that don’t require this blessing may be purchased and worn until the 1st of Av.
The 9 Days
Activities of Pleasure and Joy
1. One should not purchase an object of joy that will be available after Tisha B’Av for the same price.
2. Building for beauty or pleasure not required for dwelling should be suspended.
3. Building for a mitzvah like a synagogue, place of Torah study, or a mikva is permitted.
4. Painting, wallpapering and general home decoration should not be done.
Eating Meat and Drinking Wine
1. The custom is to refrain from eating meat/poultry or drinking wine/grape juice. This also pertains to children.(The prohibition includes foods cooked with meat/meat fat; foods cooked in a clean vessel used for meat may be eaten)
2. Eating meat and drinking wine is permitted for Shabbat. Even one who has ushered in the Shabbat on Friday afternoon before sunset, or extends the third meal of Shabbat into Saturday night may also eat meat and drink wine at those times.(they are also permitted at a ‘mitzvah meal’ – a bris, redemption of the first born, completing a tractate of the Talmud)
3. Most have the custom to give the Havdallah wine to a child of 6-9 years old or to use beer for Havdallah.
4. A person who requires meat because of weakness or illness, including small children and pregnant or nursing women who have difficulty eating dairy, may eat meat. However, whenever possible poultry is preferable to meat.
Laundering
1. Laundering is prohibited even for use after Tisha B’Av, including linens, tablecloths, and towels. (One may not even give clothing to a non-Jewish cleaner, although one may give it to him before Av, even though he’ll wash during the 9 days)
2. A person who has no clean clothes may wash what he needs until the Shabbat before Tisha B’Av (children’s diapers and clothing that constantly get dirty may be washed by need even during the week of Tisha B’Av, in private. )
3. One may polish shoes with liquid or wax polish, but should avoid shining shoes.
Wearing Freshly Laundered Clothing
1. It is forbidden to wear freshly laundered clothing, including all clothing (except socks/undershirts/underwear) linens, tablecloths, and towels (therefore, one must prepare before the nine days by wearing freshly laundered suits, pants, shirts, dresses, blouses and the like for a short time so that they may be worn during the nine days)
2. One may use freshly laundered Shabbat clothing, clean tablecloths and towels. New bed linen is prohibited.
(if one forgot or was unable to prepare enough garents before the nine days, he may change for Friday night and then change again on Shabbat morning - these garments may then be worn during the week; BUT this will apply only to clothing that is suitable to wear on Shabbat, since wearing a garment on Shabbat for the sole purpose of wearing it during the week is forbidden)
3. Fresh garments and Shabbat clothing may be worn in honor of a mitzvah (ex. the parents, mohel, and sandek for a bris)
Wearing, Buying and Making New Clothes, Repairing Garments
1. While wearing new clothing that doesn’t require a “sh’hecheyanu” is permitted until the 1st of Av, during the nine days it is prohibited even on Shabbat.
2. One may not buy new clothes or shoes even for use after Tisha B’Av, except in a case of great necessity (your wedding)
3. If one forgot or was unable to buy special shoes needed for Tisha B’Av, he may do so during the nine days.
4. Making new garments or shoes for a Jew is allowed until the week of Tisha B’Av; afterwards only for a non-Jew.
5. Repairing torn garments or shoes is permitted.
Bathing and Swimming
1. The custom is not to bathe for pleasure even in cold water or wash with hot/warm water. (bathing in cold water or washing in hot/warm water for medical reasons or to remove dirt or perspiration is permitted).
2. Bathing for a mitzvah is allowed (a woman who needs to bathe for the mikva should consult a competent rabbi.
3. A man who immerses in a mikva every Friday (no matter what) may do so in cold water this Friday.
4. One who bathes every Friday for Shabbos with hot water, soap and shampoo may do so on the Friday before Tisha B’Av.
No comments:
Post a Comment