The Day Before (“Erev”) Yom Kippur
1. During Shacharis, Psalm 100 [Mizmor Lesoda], Avinu Malkeinu, Lamnatze’ach and Tachanun are not said.
2. It is a custom to do “kaparos” - instructions and prayers can be found on pgs. 2-
3. Kaparos should be done on Erev Yom Kippur, but if one is anxious, it may be done starting from Rosh Hashanah. .
4. Ideally separate chickens should be used for each person, but in times of need, it may be used several times.
5. It is a Mitzvah to eat on Erev Yom Kippur. The main custom is to eat two festive meat meals, once around midday and again during the afternoon. It is preferable to wash and eat chicken at these meals. Some have a custom to eat fish also at the first meal. It is customary to eat “kreplach” – meat dumplings. (remember not to eat TOO much)
6. It is absolutely imperative that one receives forgiveness for sins committed against other people, including hurtful remarks, slander, damages, overdue debts, dishonesty in business, not respecting parents and teachers, etc.
7. Ideally, one should ask personally by going to the person or via mail or telephone. If this is difficult, or if the person will be appeased more easily by another person, then one may make use of a third party. (one should specify the sin he is asking forgiveness of. But, if one thinks that doing so would upset the other person, one may ask in a general way)
8. All men are obliged to go to the Mikveh, optimally after one hour before Halachik Midday.
9. It is customary to dress for Yom Tov before Mincha, where the “Viduy” (confession) is added (see pgs. 8-24)
10. The final meal before Yom Kippur is called the “Seudah Hamafsekes.” It preferably should be eaten after one has said Mincha. The custom is to eat chicken, (not beef) and to refrain from eating fish (some permit cold fish). It is advisable not to eat hot spicy foods, eggs, or garlic, nor drink wine. One should be careful not to over-eat.
11. After eating, it is customary to say “Shir Hama’alos’ and to wash “Mayim Acharonim” before Birchas Hamazon. One should say Birchas Hamazon with great concentration and afterwards, clean the teeth well.
13. Women light candles and make two blessings: 1) “Lehadlik Ner Shel Yom Hakipurim” and 2) “Shehechiyanu.” Women usually accept the holiness of Yom Kippur with this candle lighting. Under extenuating circumstances, a woman may travel to Shul after candlelighting if she had in mind when lighting that she does not yet want to accept Yom Kippur. In that circumstance, she should only recite the first blessing over the candles and say “Shehechiyanu” with the congregation after Kol Nidrei.
14. One should light a 24 hour Yahrtzeit candle in memory of all deceased relatives. An additional candle should be lit specifically to be used for Havdalah at the end of Yom Kippur and one lit by married men (“ner neshamah”).
15. Married men wear a Kittel the entire time that they are awake on Yom Kippur; Women should wear Yom Tov clothes, but should not dress lavishly. They may wear weekday jewelry, except actual gold.
16. The father gives his children a special blessing before he goes to Shul. See Artscroll Machzor pg. 32.
17. Married men should put on their Talis before sunset in order to be able to say the blessing. If one did not manage to put it on until after sunset, the blessing should not be said.
Eating and Drinking:
1. All adult males over 13 years and females over 12 are obligated to fast the entire 25 hours.
2. Healthy children from the age of nine should be encouraged to fast part of the day by giving them their meals at a later time than usual, both at night and during the day. Children below this age should eat as usual (even for a Yom Tov).
3. Pregnant and nursing women must fast like everyone else. It is strongly recommended that they rest as much as possible in order to preserve their strength, even if it means davening little or nothing in Shul.
5. If upon consultation with a Rabbi, you are told that for health reasons that you may eat, the maximum quantity of solid food that may be eaten in one session is 30cc [one fluid ounce], measured by volume and not weight. The liquid quantity is 40cc [1.3 fluid ounces]. A person may eat these quantities as often as necessary, provided that they are in nine minute intervals. All decisions of eating on Yom Kippur should be done in consultation with a Rabbi.
7. It is permitted to touch food in order to feed children or the elderly.
8. It is forbidden to rinse out the mouth whether with water or with mouthwash, even if one feels uncomfortable.
Washing and Bathing:
1. It is forbidden to derive pleasure from washing any part of the body, whether in hot or cold water.
2. It is permitted to wash off dirt, but one should be careful to wash only the affected area.
3. When you awaken in the morning, the hands should be washed carefully up to the knuckles only. One should wash each hand three times as usual. The stickiness in one’s eyes may be removed with your already moist fingers.
4. After going to the bathroom, one should wash up to the knuckles only. It is sufficient to wash each hand once.
5. Kohanim, who are washing their hands to perform the blessing of the congregation, are permitted to wash as usual.
6. Children should be trained to follow the above laws, whether washing themselves or being washed by their parents.
Applying Oils:
1. It is forbidden to apply oils, liquids, perfumes, etc. even in a small quantity on any part of the body. This is forbidden whether done for pleasure, cleanliness, hygiene, or personal comfort. (It’s permitted to apply just before Yom Kippur).
2. It’s forbidden to use deodorants on Yom Kippur, but is permitted before Yom Kippur. (Talcum Powder is ok)
3. Children of all ages are included in these laws.
Wearing Shoes:
1. Only shoes that are made of leather are forbidden, whereas all other materials are permitted (even if only a small part of the shoe is made out of leather - ie. the sole, the upper part in the sole, or just in the straps).
2. According to most opinions, one is permitted to wear comfortable sport shoes, etc. Some opinions prohibit this.
3. One is permitted to wear leather shoes for medical reasons, but one should try to obtain a synthetic if possible.
4. Children from the age of two to three should be taught to wear other footwear.
Marital Relations:
1. All laws of Niddah separation between husband and wife are in force, both at night and during the day.
The Viduy [confession]:
1. One must confess sins that are contained in the Viduy even if he thinks he has not committed them. In addition, it is proper to make specific mention of personal sins that one has committed that are not mentioned in the Viduy.
2. One must stand with the body bent slightly forward when saying the Viduy. [similar to the way one stands when saying Modim] One should remain bent until after the words “Arba Misos Beis Din.”
3. One may not lean heavily on anything to the extent that one would fall over if the object were to be removed.
5. The custom is to strike the chest at the mention of each sin, During the “Al Cheit” one should strike by the word “Shechatanu.” And during the “V’al Chataim”, by the words “She’anu Chayavim.”
Kol Nidrei:
1. It is customary to come early enough to Shul to say “Tefila Zakah.” (if there is not enough time at least say the short confession and the paragraph expressing forgiveness to other people - see pg. 40)
2. “Tefila Zakah” was primarily composed for men - a woman who says it omits the lines that refer to men.
3. One should read the Kol Nidrei together with the Chazzan and is not valid unless one understands the words.
4. Women who recited the “Shehechiyanu” blessing when lighting candles should just listen and say Amen. Everyone else should say the blessing with the Chazzan, finishing a little quicker to be able to say Amen.
5. One may say the Kol Nidrei prayer at home, but only read the text that refers to future vows (not past vows)
Miscellaneous Laws:
1. If one can not be in Shul, one can say Yizkor alone without a Minyan. (There are different customs regarding saying Yizkor during the first twelve months. If one does not have a particular custom, then one should say Yizkor).
2. If a man removes his Talis during the day, he only repeats the blessing when putting it back on if he took his mind off the Talis completely. [usually 2-3 hours]
3. It’s permitted to smell spices on Yom Kippur. Many people do so in order to complete the saying of 100 blessings.
4. It is customary to stand during the entire Neilah service, as the
5. One should not socialize or be involved in idle chatter during the entire Yom Kippur.
Motzei Yom Kippur:
1. Under no circumstances may one make preparations to break the fast before 8:04 PM.
2. It is forbidden to eat or drink before making or hearing Havdalah. The exception is water which may be drunk before Havdalah, after praying Maariv or saying “Baruch Hamavdil Bein Kodesh Lechol.”
3. One should say the Maariv prayer carefully after Yom Kippur is over.
4. The custom is to wish everyone a good year when leaving Shul and to wash one’s entire hands three times after the fast since they were not washed fully in the morning.
5. Women who do not pray Maariv must say “Baruch Hamavdil Bein Kodesh Lechol” before doing any work.
6. Havdalah has three parts: a) Blessing on wine, b) Blessing on Candle c) Havdalah Blessing
7. One should use the pre-existing flame that was burning throughout Yom Kippur as the Havdalah candle. If one does not have one, he should try to obtain one from a neighbor. If this is not possible, the blessing should not be said.
8. The custom is to say Kiddush Levana immediately after Maariv or after one has broken the fast.
9. The custom is to start building one’s Sukkah (or do something related to its construction) after he has eaten.
10. It is a custom to arise earlier than usual on the day after Yom Kippur.
